all the perfect words seem so wrong [entries|friends|calendar] bgua ♥LIFE LAYS OUT JUST LIKE THE OPEN ROAD IT'S FOR US TO GRAB A HOLD THERE'S NO ONE THAT CAN TELL US NO.♥ ♥ ♥ [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Friday December 12, 08 5:08pm] i am literally falling apart right now. i do not know what to do. ♥

[Saturday October 4, 08 5:46pm] everything is going pretty good. im really happy right now in certain aspects of my life. im really sad about something that happened a couple weeks ago. it was shocking, and hurtful, and just really upsetting. = / it sucks when someone lets you down and hurts you. i dont even know how to handle it right now but whatever. sometimes i miss you, being in my life, my friend. i wish there was a way to be friends but idk if that can ever happen, or ever will = / ♥

[Friday August 15, 08 10:27am] i dont know what or who to believeeeeeee ♥

[Wednesday May 14, 08 10:26pm] since i am constantly disappointed in you, i'm done expecting anything. doneeeee. ♥

[Sunday April 13, 08 3:53am] im a mess. ♥

[Thursday April 10, 08 3:11pm] i love life today, this weather just makes me insanely happy. and although i have to go to work, im not even that mad cause im just so happyyyyy ♥

[Tuesday March 11, 08 11:28pm] i need to relax! ♥

[Monday March 3, 08 8:22pm] i had a really good weekend. ive been really happy. im so excited for italy and florida = ] = ] = ] ♥

[Thursday February 21, 08 10:46am] you say you dont understand why i could be upset. im going to italy, i have a good bf, im doing well in school. what about all my personal problems? what about all the things that are constantly running through my head? the fact that in my head, im always thinking about the past and how i shouldve acted differently and blah blah. or what about my feelings towards my family? i know no one has a perfect family life, but it doesnt make it easier for me to handle to think that other people are going through their own shit. i dont like opening up to people because i dont like to cry, and im embarrassed, and i dont want to seem weak or hurt or anything. id rather be a bitch and hate the world than open up as to why im really upset. whatever i dont feel like anyone understands. bye. ♥

[Thursday February 7, 08 1:28am] [ mood | restless ] [ music | the jumbled thoughts of my headdd ] i love how one of the only nights in my life i can't fall asleep, is the night i need to be in bed because i have an early class tomorrow. my heads a mess, as usual. i miss some people, but i guess things have changed and there's nothing you can really do about it. i wish i was anywhere other than here. like on my way down to florida. i dont think people believe how bad i want to do this. whatever fuck it, its not like my dad or any of them would ever understand. cause you know, they know me oh so well. i want so many changes in my life and im too fucking chickenshit to put myself out there. i fucking hate it. im not that shy of a person once you get to know me, but why cant i just put myself out there. i guess im socially awk, which really sucks. the feminists in my philosophy and women class are really starting to irk me. i wish i dropped religion, i'm an ass for even thinking i could sit through it. thank god bobby is in it, otherwise it would be utterly unbearable. fuck i really need to sleep. i tried movie music reading. i wish i could pop a few tylenol pms and sleep the whole day away tomorrow. the only thing im looking forward to tomorrow is the fact that i have spanish class. candido is the man. k im gonna go to sleep, or more likely just lie in bed and just think and think and think and dwell and dwell and dwell. niice, cant wait. ♥

[Thursday January 31, 08 4:15pm] i really dislike my life as of right now. ! @ # $ % ^ ! @ ♥

[Sunday January 27, 08 5:59am] i broke down tonight. i liked it? i didnt liekporefgtnerkfl;,49i08ughybjknc,lx ♥

[Saturday January 26, 08 9:40am] so, i don't really want to start any drama but this is also my journal. so if you don't like what it says, i dont give a fuck. so dont bring it up to me. i love how all of a sudden we're not close anymore, and you have to "try and be nice" to me. meanwhile, it wasn't that long ago you were telling me you liked going to me for advice cause i always knew how to put what you wnated to say into words. and on january 13th you said, "you're one of the only people i trust in this small ass town..." really? so why was it two weeks later that you were "trying to be nice" (which i didn't realize you had to try to do) i mean whatever, i'm over it. i just needed to vent it out a bit. ♥

[Monday January 21, 08 1:44pm] well, i'm home. good thing? bad thing? happy? sad? i don't know, i don't know. i had a good time. met some good people. ate some good food. i cried on the plane. i was really scared. and plus, i really didn't want to come home. i can't wait for this semester to be over already. i emailed FGCU. i'm making this real. people will probably think i'm just saying i want to do this and that when it comes down to it, i won't really enjoy it. but i think this is really what i want. i'm gonna go for a long visit when the semester ends to see if it what i really want. someone is kind of making me feel guilty. and i know it's not on purpose, but still. i can't, and i won't limit myself. things have "ended". whatever i dont even care. i'm over it, and im over you. and you. and you too kinda. my mind is a mess. ♥

[Sunday January 20, 08 11:34am] honestly, if someone shipped all my clothes down to fla tomorrow, i'd be happy. i don't really wanna leave. im trying to convince my mom to move down. ♥

[Saturday January 19, 08 12:14pm] !@#$%$#! = my head. always. ♥

[Tuesday January 15, 08 10:30am] [ mood | crushed ] i'm so done. i've said this a hundred times before, but this time i'm serious. it's not fair to me, at all. i feel like such an idiot. at least you know how to spell my last name. nice. i'm so over my mom using my car and then making mee put in gas money, no no. thats not how it works. and since she's using my car so much its only right for her to pay for the inspection, esp since she said she was going to. but she'll lie and say she never said that. i can't wait to be in fla and just get away from everything. and then i get b ack and school starts so i can throw myself into that. ♥

[Sunday January 6, 08 11:29am] i love my boyyyy <33 ♥

[Wednesday January 2, 08 4:53pm] whats good '08 ♥

[Wednesday December 26, 07 10:47am] weird weird weird. i don't like it one bit. what am i gonna do? nothing, i suppose. i don't think i can handle it. weird. weird. weird. weeeiiirrd. ♥

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